I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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