Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
