I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
