you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
