He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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