I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
