Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
