she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
