Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
