U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Welp...herpes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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