Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
