so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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