What a fucking waste of an outfit
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
