I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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