I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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