Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
