"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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