A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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