After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
