So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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