Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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