and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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