You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
