think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
