I bet he comes in French.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
