Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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