everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
