We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
