i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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