He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
