i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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