omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
