: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
