i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
