everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
