I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
