They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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