Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
