I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
