I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
