I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
high people should be assigned attendants
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
