Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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