Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
