we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
