if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
