How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
