Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
