I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I believe in your delicious
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
