He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
