My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
