I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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