I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
