Ketchup is God's man juice
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
