FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
