I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
