my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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